Amazing and yet very sad when you can watch a children’s pastor move from one ministry to another children’s ministry and they sink terribly at the new one.

As many of you know I have moved from my last church to my new one here in Des Moines, Iowa as the Family Life Pastor for First Church of the Open Bible. Making this move from my last to my new has caused me to look at my ways, systems, processes, and challenging me to also “Let Go” of some great things that I would have used at my last church to pick up some new ways for my new church.

This is what has me thinking through the terrible mistake many children’s pastor will make as they too make their new moves into a new ministry. I have never seen where the children’s pastor wasn’t knowledgeable enough to succeed or could have learned to do the new, it was they didn’t want to “Let Go” of the old and comfortable for the new, exciting, and challenging.

To avoid this you need to learn about your new place of ministry. What are the things you need to know? Being an efficient and effective learner will reduce your window of vulnerability to loss. Here are a few things I am personally spending time on:

Before I even arrived:
* Read up and asked questions of my network about this church and the team members who are here.
* Spent tons of time talking with my new Senior Pastor
* I created a list of questions that help guide my learning once I got here.

Right after I arrived:
* Met with my direct reports and we settled on how we would communicate.
* I listened and arrange myself to be in places where I could here volunteers talk. They would all bring their own perspective to what each of the problems and strengths were here.
* I would also in this step re-do my questions some as I was able to target them more specifically because I was armed with more knowledge.
* Always kept my senior pastor in the know of what I was thinking. In this piece is where I started to learn of things I had to let go of to pick up some new stuff.

After being there for a bit:
* Met with key parents and got their ideas and feedback
* Met with the kids and got their ideas and feedback
* Talked with the community people and asked what they knew or thought of my new church
* Met with area children’s pastors
* I would also in this step re-do my questions some as I was able to target them more specifically because I was armed with more knowledge.

I find for me if I spend the right time asking the right questions I will soon discover I need to let go of some old tried and true things that are comfortable, and pick up some new and unknown ways to help the ministry God has blessed me to be part of. If you don’t, the result is never good.

Today I had some visitors in my office. As they came bursting through the doors they exclaimed, “Ms Dawn! You have the best office ever!! It’s just full of so much fun!”

Seriously, few more precious words could ever be said to me about my office. I have always wanted my office space to be a kid friendly place. Years ago, when I first got an office, I was the volunteer coordinator of our children’s ministry program. I didn’t want the office to be seen as “my office,” but rather “the office” where children’s ministry took place, where other volunteers and of course, kids were welcome.

So I painted the former closet now turned office a beautiful color of obnoxiously perky orange (Yeah, I was orange, when orange wasn’t cool!) and we let the fun begin.

I’ve moved office space since that time. After being asked to consider a color other than orange for my new walls, I chose a lovely shade of white—but added vinyl adhesive polka dots! And, there are the orange curtains, an orange desk chair, orange tractor seat stools and tall table. There is gum ball machine, some sponge balls, a partial Mr. Potato Head collection, bouncy balls, a mini fridge, electric fireplace, and a zillion other kid friendly attention grabbing things. (No, my office isn’t really that big, it’s just well-rounded!)

People often comment about how much fun my office is, although not always with as much enthusiasm as today’s guests, and it makes me smile to realize that my office isn’t just a fun place, but instead it is a place that kids can relate to, connect with and enjoy. When they feel those things about my office, they also feel those things about me. They gain a sense that I am someone who “gets” them, and that I am someone they can trust.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to bring a smile to a kids face through my office space:

1) Color. You may or may not be able to paint your walls some crazy color, but even if your walls are white like mine right now, you can still make it pop with some great accessories, wall art, press ons, curtains, furniture, etc. (Most of what I have come from yard sales or someone else’s left overs.)

2) Toys. Keep some cool toys in your office. They don’t have to be the latest; they just have to be something kids will relate to. Currently one of our kids favorites is a sparkly filled water bottle, some old hand puppets, and my paper clip holder (it looks like a lady and the paper clips are her hair—the kids love it!)

3) Snacks. I try to have something on hand like fruit snacks or granola bars. Need to talk to a parent? A snack is a great way to occupy their child. Want to get a child talking? Have them sit down over a pack of fruit snacks and chat about their day.

4) Fun Furniture and Office Supplies. From my orange tractor chairs to my zebra striped stapler to my stiletto shoe tape dispenser, kids love the creatively eccentric things they find in my office. I even have a polka-dotted broom that rests on top of a curtain rod. Why? I don’t know! I guess the question is, “Why not?”

So everyone now and then I look around my office and decide it’s time for something old to go out and new to come in. This helps to keep my view of ministry fresh, and keeps my focus on the heart of children and the precious responsibility given to us to help them understand how much Jesus not only loves them, but He “gets” them.

Todays post was brought to you by my friend Dawn Ferris. Dawn Farris is the Director of Children’s Ministries at New Testament Christian Church, Keokuk, IA. You can find out more about her at her blog www.whosthefarris.com or follow her on twitter @whosthefarris

A lot of time has been spent in my ministry on recruiting men, fathers especially, to volunteer with children’s ministry. Our church has been blessed with a great group of guys who work the nursery, pass out snacks, go on camping trips, drive vans, and lead worship for our kids. It’s a great privilege to see men and women serve alongside each other to reach boys and girls for Christ.
But there is another reason I have for bringing men into our ministry to children. In the community around us and all over the country it seems there is an absence of fathers. A boy may grow up in a two parent household, but the true paternal role is rarely ever seen. Boys have a list of essential needs that only a father or male role model can supply. We need to make sure that they hear:

“I love you”
It’s a basic human need to be loved. We were created to be love and be loved by God. Despite this fact, it can sometimes be a huge hurdle as a man to express love to your sons and an even larger one to the boys that aren’t a part of your household. Yet, the need is still there. Find ways to say it, to show it in the way you live, to be an example of love to even the greatest discipline problems that you face. It will make such a difference and you will begin to see trust form in the eyes of the young men that you serve.

“I’m proud of you”
Often times, it’s easy for the men in children’s Sunday school classes to become the “enforcer of rules” and the major disciplinarian in the class. This is absolutely fine, but we miss out on an opportunity to serve and show Christ-like love by not telling kids the good things that they’re doing. Point out when boys are well-behaved. Take time to mention how good they did during the relay or scripture memory game. Give praise when praise is due. All too often, our boys don’t get the praise they deserve from dads and men in ministry.

“You’re good.”
This is a little different than “I’m proud of you”. I think everyone can benefit from knowing that we have the potential to be virtuous. The statement “You’re good” transcends pride and acknowledges that a boy can have and does have value in your eyes. I’ve seen this simple phrase melt the hearts of the most hardened elementary bullies.

I hope that this list of things that boys need is helpful to you. It’s certainly not exhaustive. Can you think of other ways to reach out and touch the lives of the young men in your church or community? Maybe there are some things that you felt you didn’t have that you needed growing up? Maybe there was a memorable moment in your development that you can look back on and bring to the table as you minister to your sons and the boys under your care.

This was brought to you by a good friend, new blogger named Andy Partington. Andy is the Minister to Preschoolers and Children at First Baptist Minden, Louisiana. You can find out more about him at andypartingtonblog.com

For those who may not know or who have not been following me long, you need to know I have had the opportunity to start a new position in Des Moines, Iowa at First Church of the Open Bible. I thought as long as I am starting a new position I might as well journal the journey.

There are a ton of great books out there on every topic but not many if any on the practical how to’s of when starting new at a medium size church, in another state and for me even a different denomination as i am going from Assembly of God to Open Bible.

So let’s begin!

There is such a thing as what I would call a “Break even point”. This is a point when new leaders have contributed as much value to the new ministry and church as they have consumed from it. Being a consumer when you first start is natural seeing that this is what many call the “Honey moon” time as well. During this time everyone is your friend, helping you in every way, you can purchase items more frequently, you can get information, etc.. The goal even as nice as this Honey moon period may be is to not camp here. Gather and move on.

When 210 CEO’s were asked for their best estimates of the time it takes a typical midlevel manager in their organizations to reach the “Break even” point, the average of their responses was 6.2 months. With this being said, it should be our goal to accelerate the time spent here to get out earlier than most. Doing so will help us create value sooner and that will lead to stronger influence into the lives of those we lead.

There are 2 types of people that you want to secure for yourself pretty quickly and they are:

1. Environmental atmosphere
2. Personal

Real quick, Environmental atmosphere people are those who can help give you the pulse of the environment in which you are working. These are the people that you want to hear from when you get ready to make your changes.

Then the personal advisers will help you keep perspective in times of stress. They will keep you accountable to your reasons of “why” you are doing this or that. They will serve behind the scenes and stay removed from the mechanics of your ministry due to their main ministry is your personal well being.

Have fun gathering these 2 types of people. Do this before you move much into changing anything. These 2 types will help you get to your break even point faster.

Whenever you are trying to make improvements to anything, it is always wise to start with what needs improving. You find this out by asking questions, by discovering what people want, need, desire. Everyone tends to take their own filter into situations and then judge everything according to their filter.

Perception is Reality!!!

In Family ministries, we must find out peoples perceptions in order to change or improve their reality. Over the many, many years I have been involved in children or family ministry one consistent perception keeps coming up – The parents feel they are not in the know of what is going on with their child.

With each ministry I talk with they mostly feel all the information for events would be in the bulletin, on the quarterly calendar, on the website, and sent home on flyers. But with all of these outlets, parents still managed to miss what was going on in their children’s ministry and the details about events.

The biggest disappointment is that perception is reality. So, if it was perceived that the information was unclear, then it was.

How families perceive your organizational and communication skills is the true test of how you are truly communicating. Communication is leaving from one person and being received and understood from another person. Talking is simply just that, communicating to only yourself because it is not being received by anything or anyone else.

Ideas to try in communicating.

Email Parents Once A Week or put same info out in paper form. Include some of these each time:

* Share the vision and purpose of your ministry. This needs repeating several times.

* Encourage parents with ideas and resources on how to love their kids.

* Encourage parents to pray for ministry and provide specifics.

* Empower parents to take away excuses for their kids to miss church.

* Share stories of how God is at work in our ministry.

* Communicate upcoming lessons for both follow-up and open dialogue.

* Highlight upcoming events and communicate details.

* Provide an easy way for parents to get a hold of me.

Ideas to try to gauge if your communication is being received.

* Hold contest that are announced in your newsletters or email etc. Tell families that the first X amount of families that email you back with the word that is the 4 word in a specific section of your newsletter will get a prize.

* Survey families as they pick up or drop off their kids. Ask a couple targeted question about their opinion on the usefulness and helpfulness of your communication pieces. Don’t wear your thin skin on these days.

* Announce a quarterly parents pizza night and have parents respond back to RSVP with how they heard about the Pizza night.

Have fun with this but always build in evaluation. If you do this you will Score BIG with your families.

Anyone who knows me in even the littlest ways knows that I love my Evernote. Evernote has truly become my brain in many ways.

My heart for equipping and inspiring world changers on their leadership journey, combined with my children’s ministry vision of Preparing parents and volunteers to influence first our community then surrounding communities and finally the world through Leading, Coaching, and Equipping kids to be World Changers creates in me a desire to convert everything I do and use into a tool to get these larger than life goals accomplished.

One tool that constantly fits this bill for me is Evernote. Here is one of the several ways to use Evernote to help build your leaders, your parents, and keep a constant supply of teaching material.

In Evernote, as you web clip articles, scan articles from magazines, send pictures and more to your Evernote account, I enjoy sending them into a few notebooks. Example would be: Classroom discipline. In this notebook I would have all the material from a variety of resources that cover discipline in a classroom. I could easily share this 1 notebook with my leaders so they could benefit from all of the resources I have on this one topic. As items would be added to this notebook, they would continue to see the most updated material on that topic. It would be like a constant stream of info on a very specific topic.

You increase the know how of your leaders, you will raise the bar of the childrens ministry you provide for your community.

Recently I had the privilege of reading the book “All In” by Mark Batterson. No surprise to me that it was truly another great book that was packed with challenges on almost every page.

The book is divided into five sections: Now or Never, All In, All Out, All in All, and All or Nothing. From front to back the book is calling out “followers of Jesus” to really look at whether they are followers at all. The question that kept haunting me through the whole book was: “Is there anything stopping us from fully surrendering our entire lives to the lordship and leadership of God? Are my dreams really His dreams? Are my plans truly His plans? Is my heart fully consecrated to Him?”

Mark Batterson through this book kept an unrelenting challenge to die to self and to cross the line of faith to give all my hopes, dreams, plans, and heart to God. To truly be a disciple is to go “all in”, and Batterson does a great job asking tough questions that continued to haunt me as every choice and decision I made I was playing those questions over in my head.

The bottom line message of All In Student Edition is simple: if Jesus is not Lord of all then Jesus is not Lord at all. It’s all or nothing. It’s now or never. Jesus gave all of Himself for you on Calvary’s cross. He wants all of you in return. In essence, your life is not your own–but it can be more amazing than you ever dared imagine if you decide to go all in.

If you are ready to do some serious personal exploration and going “All In”, then this will be a good book to read.

Here are just a few of the goodies I enjoyed:
” The world has yet to see what God will with and for and through and in and by the man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him.”

“Consecration is going all in and all out for the All in All.”

“Whatever you don’t turn into praise turns into pride.”

“What got you to where you are might be holding you back from where God wants you to go next.”

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The critical issue of what to delegate is often times one of the hardest starting points for many children’s pastors that I get the opportunity to coach, mentor and just network with.

I will start with a thought that many do not take into consideration and then I will do my best to explain why when it comes to delegation it’s wise to start with this thought.

You should only delegate projects that have a benefit for both you and the person being delegated to. People resent dumping of low-level tasks that offer no learning opportunity. When volunteers feel this is happening they will begin to discharge themselves from your ministry. Do remember though, what may be a low-level task to one may not be that same thing to another. This is why its important to know your team.

How do you know what to delegate and to who?

List your projects or tasks. Never delegate part of a project or piece of work. This avoids the accusation of dumping the dull parts of a project while keeping the best bits for yourself.

Estimate time required. Calculate the number of hours you would expect each project or task to take. 

Estimate the cost. Work out the hourly cost of yourself and your team members. This cost is not always financial. Cost comes in many forms. Sometimes it can be the cost of what is it keeping the person from doing if they are working on a certain project. Is it within a certain skill set of the person being delegated to or is there going to be a learning curve and skill set curve.

Map into a table. It should now be possible to work out the cost of each project or task depending on who is delivering it. This should show you clearly the difference in cost if you complete a project or if a member of your team does. Three groups should emerge: high, medium and low cost. 

Estimate Return On Investment (ROI). Once you understand the cost groups, then you need to know the value of that project to your organization. For each project and task set a high, medium and low ROI. 

Select projects for delegation. You can now put together your cost group with your ROI group. Low cost and low ROI go together, medium cost and medium ROI go together and so on. 

This technique allows you to delegate the right projects to the right team member based on simple cost and ROI analysis. This is not a magical formula and should only serve as a broad process but at least in this way there is some logic to what you choose to delegate. Remember delegation is also about developing the team member so giving them a project which is in the group above (for example a high ROI project to a medium cost member of staff) is good practice.

With a good process in place it is easier to show your confidence in the great team that God is working with you in getting established. Now go and make your map, challenge your team, empower them to be all they can be, all the while your ministry is accomplishing what God wants it to accomplish.

When I was younger I would always hear from my parents, “Todd you better get the lead out!” I always wondered what that really meant.

According to the Free Dictionary it means: “get the lead out and shake the lead out
Inf. to hurry; to move faster. (This originally refers to getting lead weights (used in exercise) off so you can move faster.)”

Here is a quick formula to “Get the lead out” with your execution plan.

L=Leverage. Do you have the right people in the driver seats to carry out your strategic priorities?

E-Enviroment. Have you created the right atmosphere and culture that will allow your people the ability to support your priorities?

A=Alignement. Do each of your team members agendas move them toward your ministries final goals?

D-Drive. Does your team have the ability to quickly move once the first 3 pieces of this formula are in place?

In closing, maybe you answered no to some of the above formula, what then?

Well, if you said no to the Leverage piece then you will need to work on your Talent/Resource side.

If you said no to Environment, then you have a Cultural/Engagement issue.

If no to Alignment, then work on your Communication/Productivity.

Lastly if no to Drive, then your Speed/Agility.

So, want to succeed, Then Get the lead out.

Loose lips sink ships is an American English idiom meaning “beware of unguarded talk”.

According to Wikipedia The gist of this particular slogan was that one should avoid speaking of ship movements, as this talk (if directed at or overheard by covert enemy agents) might allow the enemy to intercept and destroy the ships.

Some examples of usage of the phrase outside the World War II propaganda context are:

- “Loose Lips Sink Ships” is the title an episode of the American television program Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, and a variation
- “Loose Lips Sink Relationships”, is the title of an episode of the American television program Will & Grace.
- “Loose Lips” is the title of a song written by Kimya Dawson heard in the soundtrack of the feature film, Juno.
- “Loose lips sink ships” is the lyric at the beginning of the song Let’s Get It Up by AC/DC.
- “Loose Tweets Sink Fleets” is a contemporary phrase that reflects current methods of communication and inadvertent information dissemination over social media.

Over the years of ministry I too have learned how important it is that our talk is guarded. I have seen and experienced too often when people start talking, and at times can seem very irrelevant or harmless (not always the intention of those who are talking though) the damage it can cause. It can create a perception to some of a reality that is wrong. It is this reason that years ago I adopted these 10 rule of communication from a wise pastor friend of mine.

10 Rules of Communication
1. If you have a problem with staff, leadership, or me please see those involved privately.
2. If I have a problem with you, I will come to you privately.
3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send
them to me. I will do the same for you.
4. If someone will consistently not come to me, say, “Let’s go to
pastor Todd together. I am sure he will see us about this.”
5. If you say to the staff, the leadership, or me,
“People are talking,” we will ask who. I ask you to do the
same.
6. If it is confidential don’t tell others. our leadership will
not tell other people unless:
1. The person will harm themselves or others
2. A child has been physically or sexually abused
7. I will not read or be swayed to read any unsigned letters or notes. If you send a signed note or letter don’t be surprised if I ask you to come and talk about it.
8. I will not manipulate people. I do not want to be manipulated by others.
9. Always feel free to ask any question you may have.
10. Be careful of misinterpretations. They often cause unnecessary
divisions. If you or I sense this is happening I will call for a meeting with all concerned people.

What ideas do you use to try to combat those loose lips in your ministry?

Here are just a few places in the Bible that also try to warn of the damage that is ever-present with loose lips.

Psalm 41:6
Some people come to see me, but they lie. They just come to get bad news. Then they go and gossip.

Proverbs 11:13
Gossips can’t keep secrets, but a trustworthy person can.

Proverbs 16:28
A useless person causes trouble, and a gossip ruins friendships.

Proverbs 18:8
The words of a gossip are like tasty bits of food. People like to gobble them up.

Proverbs 20:19
Gossips can’t keep secrets, so avoid people who talk too much.

Proverbs 26:20
Without wood, a fire will go out, and without gossip, quarreling will stop.

Proverbs 26:22
The words of a gossip are like tasty bits of food; people like to gobble them up.