I had just read this blog post on Ryans blog and thought it worthy of mentioning again. Ryan mentions someone in his church who gave him a stack of papers from a conference the person had attended. Included in that stack was a sheet with the chain of events that lead to adultery. Here is a paraphrase of 11 of the 22 steps mentioned. To read the whole post with all 22 steps go to Ryan’s blog.
1. You meet someone (the circumstances vary).
2. You grow more and more aware of that particular person.
3. You spend time thinking about that person.
4. There is a series of unplanned, innocent contacts. This can be in person or electronic (email, Facebook, etc).
5. In your mind, you compare that person to your present husband or wife.
6. You spend time thinking about how unhappy you are.
7. The unplanned, innocent contacts develop into planned, intentional contacts.
8. You find ways to seek the other person out to talk and have conversations. Again, this can be online, by email or by text.
9. You realize that you feel good when you’re with the other person.
10. You start comparing. You compare the way you feel about this person with the way you feel about your spouse. You compare how the other person treats you compared to how your spouse treats you.
11. You look for ways you can be with the other person for legitimate reasons.
Hopefully you have never found yourself in any of these first 11 steps. If you have, please be aware you are sliding down the slippery slope and you must take control. My wife and I discussed the irony of how people will go to great lengths to protect their homes, bank accounts, cars, even computer passwords, but give practically no thought to protecting their marriage.
What safeguards have you put in place to keep this from happening? Far too many are allowing their marriages to succumb to this insidious device of the enemy. It is time to suit up for battle and protect our greatest relationship outside of our relationship with God.